Waiting for Gouda

So we completed baby night school a few weeks back, and I think we did pretty well.  But after the last class, they did not give us a baby!  So I’m not sure what the hell the $300 fee went toward, quite frankly.

We did watch a lot of birthing videos.  Let me tell you, I have not seen that many vaginas since college.  And those were not nearly so… stretchy.  (Well, most of them.)

There were videos about pregnant ladies rocking back and forth.  There were videos about pregnant ladies screaming.  There were a surprising number of videos with pregnant ladies slow dancing.  There was even a video about pregnant ladies swimming with dolphins.  I’m still trying to figure that one out.

We also learned how to write a birth plan.  That’s where you write down everything that you want to have happen or not happen during labor and delivery.  For example, you write things like “We would prefer that someone qualified be prepared to catch the baby when it falls out” and “Please do not attempt to surreptitiously inject either of us with tranquilizers” and “No ugly nurses”.  So you write this all down and then you give it to the doctors and they immediately throw it away.  It’s a very worthwhile exercise.

Anticipation mounts.  Any day now, there will be a fourth cute little crying jerk living in our house.  The first without a tail.  One hopes.